Learning to center my life around Him...

CAUTION: Once again Katy gets very personal!

Hey all :)

So lately, I have been learning some things about myself and tendencies that I have that,honestly, really disturbed me!

I have been realizing how self-centered I am. I realized how so often I plan my days about what I "need" to do instead of centering it around what my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ wants me to do.

Then I began to realize how my focusing on my wants and ,what I thought were my, "needs" had started to seriously effect my relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I was talking to one of my very dear friends and she shared something that made me stop in my tracks:

"right now, I'm feeling frustrated with my relationship with Jesus. to be honest- lately, it seems more like a struggle to keep our love alive than a burning desire to follow him every day...i hate this feeling. pray that i will be more consistent and give him ALL my love, not just 3 minutes."

The reason what she said made me stop in my tracks was because it summed up exactly what I had been feeling ever since the accident (although it did get worse as time went on).

I have been thinking a lot about the part were she was talking about giving Him ALL her love and not just three minutes. That really struck me! My biggest thing lately has been the time that I spend on the computer. I have been trying to justify it lately with the whole "it is a ministry" spiel but it just has not stuck! Remember this post that I wrote about wasting my time? I got to the point were I was spending hours upon hours on the computer or reading fiction or just wasting time but when it came down to spending time getting to know my Savior (being in the Word, being in prayer, worshiping Him, learning more about Him) I was all the sudden "too tired" or "didn't have enough time" or whatever other
excuse I could come up with the quiet that still small voice that was letting me know on no uncertain terms that I what I was doing was not bringing honor and glory to His name.

So last night, I finally surrendered my computer to the Lord. Especially the time that I spend on it.

Last night I (once again) asked the Lord's forgiveness for just trying to fit Him in when it was only convenient for me. Last night I (once again) re-prioritized some things in my life. And once again I am now moving forward but have now realized that ,while I can make decisions to re-prioritize and move ahead etc...I can never accomplish those goals in and of myself but ONLY while relying completely on my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

These lessons that the Lord sends our way...they can be painful but in the end so worth it!

I am just in awe of the patient loving Heavenly Father I serve! WOW! God is so good!

So there are just a few thoughts that I thought I would share with you. Blessings :)