Do you remember this series?

I have made the transition to my new blog Tales From the Little White House and am having fun with it :) Still working on little details but that is ok!

I did however, finally write a third part to my LONG AGO series that I started about Jason and I.

Check it out:

Our Story-Our Christmas 2010-Engagement

and see how we actually ended up engaged :)



You know those songs?

So you know those songs that you have memories attached to? You know like your favorite love song, your favorite worship song, ect...

You know the feeling you get when you haven't heard a song in FOREVER and then all the sudden you hear it and it is like you are right back where you used to hear it?

Why am I bothering to ask all these questions? Well, I had one of those experiances this morning and thought I would share it with you :)

Jason and I have a love/hate relationship with our alarm. Ok, it is mostly hate! He had this song that I used to love. Emphasis on the used to. See when you tend to hit snooze a multitude of times the song that is blaring and disturbing that warm relaxed feeling that you have when you are just waking up is most definitely interupted!

So last night, after over five months of marraige, I decided to change the song on his phone (and happily erased the old one in the process)!

Well, I changed it to another song and then fell into bed exhausted sad knowing the alarm was going off so ridiculously early (LOL can you tell I am NOT a morning person).

Well, this morning the alarm went off and I jerked up! Thinking that oh Jason must be texting me. Why on earth did I think that?

When we were dating he had to go and work construction and get up like 4am. I used to text him in the morning or he would text me. That ringtone was the one that I used on my phone and it would wake me up very early some days :)

What sweet memories that brought back! Oh how I loved my boyfriend then fiancee! The amazing thing to me is that even then I had no idea what love really truly can be! Marraige is so amazing in that way!

I have been amazed the last few weeks especially how much I am falling more and more in love with my husband! We are truly growing into such a team and becoming so united in so many things it is so neat how your life becomes so wrapped up in some one elses! Suddenly it is not just what you think about a situation but what his thoughts are on it as well.

I am in love (just in case you could not tell!)! :) He was so worth the wait. ! We grew in our affection then love for one another and oh wow...I am so thankful I waited for him! :)

I thought I would share the song with you. I added pics just to make it more fun :) The beginning of our friendship to our marraige now. God is so amazing!

What is your favorite song? I would love to hear about it!! :)

The Desire of My Heart...

Thank you all
for your amazing support
over the past few days.
How amazing it is
to me how I have
yet another family
here on the internet!
It truly is amazing
how the Lord works!
Today I thought that
I would share a
wedding video that
my sister Abby at
(click below to visit her blog)
Mexico Bound
made for Jason and I.
After we watched the
video for the first time
Jason turned to me
and commented how amazing
our love story is.
I would have to agree.
I am still amazed
at how the Lord orchestrated
our love story
and continues to even
to this day!



All my life all I
ever wanted to be
was a wife
and a Mama.
And in not even 2 short
months the Lord
has truly given me
both of the desires
of my heart.
I can only
praise His name for
that.
How thankful I am
for my husband,
my lover,
my hero,
my prince,
my best friend.
I would never want to spend
my life with any other.
God is so good!
If you want to read
the first part of
our story
then feel free to
click below
Lord willing I will
be working on our
story till it is finished
as time allows :)


(Click here to read our story)

Our Story-Part 2: Our Friendship-May 2010

So I know that I have kind of left you all hanging from
PART 1 (click to re-read)

for a few weeks.

Sorry about that-things have been insane.

But I have decided to just start typing

and bit by bit hopefully I will get this next part of 

our story written up :)

So where were we?

Well, I had just met Jason and was determined to be single.

Ahem.

So, I thought that I would not be seeing a lot of him.

I mean after all I just saw him once at this 

Bible study.

Right?

Ahem.

Wrong.

All the sudden I found myself bumping into Jason EVERYWHERE!

It started when I went to a girls Bible study with my 

sister Jen that was ironically being held at his house (hosted by his sister Sarah).

That night the Lord really spoke to me once again about worry

and all the sudden Jason pulled into the driveway.

Now, I imagined he would just go into the house 

and not give any of us girls on the porch a second glance.

Well, I was wrong.

Oddly enough he came out and hung out with us the entire night.

We talked and laughed together then the real fun began
when we got out glow sticks.
Did you know that if you break open glow sticks
and spray the insides around they look like stars?
They are amazing and so much fun
(plus they do not stain clothing and according to the label
are "non-toxic").
So accidentally I managed to get a glob in Jason's eye.
Well.
He complained about it and I just kind of laughed at him
and then he got some in my eye.
YOW!
I went into the house and washed my eye out.
Sarah went in with me
and I distinctly remember looking in the
mirror and going
"Whoa! Good thing there aren't any cute guys here to impress!"
Ahem.
Apparently I freaked Sarah out
who unbeknownst to me had been
praying that Jason and I would end up together
since the day we had met!
Either way we left that night
and I was still thinking:
Super nice guy.
No way in a million years he would notice me.
End of story.
*cough*
Or so I thought.
God had different plans!
So I continued to live my life.
May, 2010
His sister Sarah and I started to develop a relationship
and little by little he began to show up more and more.
Like the time he texted me on her phone.
I thought it was her.
Nope.
It was him.
Then the time she texted me off HIS phone.
I didn't know that so I texted back
and we started to gradually text
more and more.
May 2, 2010 I wrote this in my prayer journal:
"Jason actually was texting me today and...oh Lord! I just need You
to help me keep my eyes on YOU! I could really...really fall for this guy but I DO NOT want
to, first of all, dishonor You by not being COMPLETELY focused
on You and second, as much as I would LOVE to have him notice me...
I know that that would not make everything perfect.
Only YOU can do that Lord. Plus-I am so afraid
that I could get hurt again like I did with _________
and ...I just don't know if I could do that Lord."
Course the next night we texted till 12:30am.
I still was absolutely terrified though
so I just kind of wrote it off.
May 6,2010:
I go with some people from Jason's Bible study to a Planned Parenthood to pass out
tracts and pray in front of.
Sarah and I end up walking the streets and passing out tracts and praying.
Then someone joined us.
"Most of the evening Sarah, Jason and I were together walking. At first it had been just Sarah and I
but then Jason came along as a protector of sorts.
Lord, it was so much fun! I have not had that much fun in a very very long time. The best part about it was that I was JUST ME! We walked, talked, handed out tracts and laughed. Then after we were done  we went to a burger king and ate really fast before we went back to the ________'s house. That was another thing too Lord-I ATE IN FRONT OF JASON
(this was a huge milestone because before with my ex-bf I would be so nervous when he came to visit I would not eat. Literally I would lose 3-5 pounds every single time he came to visit.)! Tonight...was just freeing. Lord, I really...I am not looking for a relationship right now. Please just help me to guard my heart Father. I surrender my friendship with Jason to You Lord."
See a pattern developing yet?
I really was in denial!
So I continued to deny what I thought the Lord might
possibly be doing and continued battling loneliness, surrendering my future (and Jason)
to the Lord and praying for my future husband
"Lord-whoever he is".
He continued to text me randomly over the next few weeks.
And then it happened.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
We were texting and all the sudden
out of the blue
he asked me if I wanted a job.
"Jason and I are going into business together.
See, he is a juggler and he wants to get more jobs but he
needs someone to do the marketing for him so that is 
were I come in.
He is going to pay me $10 an hour. I am excited
because I think that we could really get a lot of jobs working
together (yeah right that is not the only reason I was
excited-just didn't want to admit it lol). 
Please Lord...I do not want to lose my heart to this guy....
Lord, I just want to focus on You...single or not,
I am Yours. I say these things because I know I could start to have feelings for Jason especially because we are working in such close 
proximity to each other. So, once again, I surrender not only my singleness to You but I also lay down my dreams, desires, fears and feeling for Jason as anything more than a brother
at Your feet. Please take it all Lord and may You be honored and glorified in 
whatever happens."
I am amazed at how much I was falling in love with Jesus
during this time.
I was so afraid of making the same old mistake of allowing
desperation to lead my heart once again that I kept praying that the Lord
would take the feelings for Jason away.
  The uncertainty was good for me because countless times
a day when uncertainty and loneliness would
consume me it drove me straight to my Savior.
And what comfort I found in Him!
The day that Jason asked me to be his manager
he asked me to go yard saling with his family
the next Saturday "to talk about the business".
Uh huh.
We didn't get much talking done
at least about the juggling jobs but oh
we had so much fun just getting to know each other! :)
I was definitely in denial!
I knew I liked him but
I was not going to get hurt again!
Therefore I was not going to feel again!
Nope.
Nuh uh.
Not me!
Sigh.
It wasn't working that well.
May 25, 2010:
Jason and some other young people come over after church.
We go on our first of many night walks over the summer.
Jason and I somehow end up behind everyone talking.
For hours.
That night I write in my journal:
"Lord, I just surrender this to You again.
I really am starting to get interested in Jason. I don't 
really know him all that well yet but everytime I spend time with him I see something in him that I like a little bit more.
He definitely seems interested in me as well. 
Lord, I just pray that we would keep our eyes focused on You...Lord, You know what the desire of my heart is! Please whatever happens-whether I am single for the rest of my life or not-please help me to surrender and to bring honor and glory to You. I just want to serve You Jesus and I know I can do that and be perfectly content without a guy in my life."
So I kept surrendering.
And surrendering.
Through the making a website for Jason the Juggler.
Through making phone calls for Jason the Juggler.
Through writing emails for Jason the Juggler.
Through designing a website for Jason the Juggler.
Through looking at pictures of Jason the Juggler.

 Did I mention he is extremely strong?
Sigh.
May 31, 2010:
It had been a full weekend.
A graduation party where we learned old fashion dancing
(like the Virginia Reel and Pride and Prejudice type dances)
Jason had almost asked me to dance but I was dancing with someone
else.
Sunday Jason had come to our church and juggled for the kids there.
Afterwards he stayed at our house and we all went to chinese as a family then he helped
put up fence where we kept our horses.
After church he was practicing his juggling and teaching Jen a little
bit and I was just sitting there watching (and worrying a bit I'll admit it lol)

and then he started teaching me how to make balloons which was super fun!
Then a group of us decided to go to the park on a night walk.

It ended up being Jen and Jason and I.
How?
Not sure.
But it was a perfect night!
I ended out the month of May 2010 with this journal entry:
"I know that I am really starting to like this guy Lord...It has been two months and three days since we met Lord. Last night Jen asked him what his thoughts were on dating and he said that he doesn't date. I really think that we both really like each other BUT we are just getting to know each other.
These feelings are so different from anything I have ever felt before. Never have I ever even been interesting in a guy without having an obsession with him. Until the past few months desperation ruled my heart and controlled how I went after guys. It was so wrong Lord!
Now it it the opposite. From day one I have been surrendering my feelings for Jason to You. I really do not know that You have in store for Jason and I but I do know that no matter what happens YOU are the only one that will complete and satisfy me Lord.
No guy will ever do that.
So once again, Lord You know my heart and all my desires...please help me to continue to seek you first and to continue to just be friends with Jason. I surrender my feelings for him to You Lord, trusting that Your will WILL be done."
I was now facing another month.
I had no idea what was to come.
I didn't have any idea what the Lord was going to do.
But oh, He was about to do more that I could
have ever imagined.
But-you will just have to wait for that in
Part 3 :)
(hehehe)

Our Story-Part 1: How we met

So many of you have been asking about the engagement story.

Well, each story has a beginning and so I thought

I would share ours :)

Lets go back to March of 2010.

On March 14th my world had turned upside down.

In a bad way.

I had been in a courtship relationship

for a little over three months

and some things had come to light 

in the young mans life

and my Dad (who is my hero) made the decision

to break off our courtship.

I was devastated.

All my life all I had wanted was to 

be a wife and Mother.

I asked God why He would give me my dream

only to snatch it away.

In the weeks that followed the Lord began to show me.

He showed me that my entire life 

I had allowed

desperation to lead my heart and my life.

I had looked to guys for my fullfillment.

Marriage had become an idol.

I was so afraid at the thought of possibly being 

alone for the rest of my life.

But one night the Lord gave me this thought one night:

"What if the Lord is calling me to be single for the rest of my life?"

I cringed.

He couldn't be.

Could He?

Then I realized what an idol not being alone

was to me.

And I knew I had to make a decision.

Would I surrender my entire life to the Lord's service

even if it meant being alone?

I thought.

And prayed.

And probably cried.

And then purposed in my heart to 

serve my Jesus no matter what.

That is when I started taking steps towards nursing.

Because I knew that I could be 

independent and serve the Lord in that way.

I had never wanted a career.

But that day when I decided to move forward in my independence

I surrendered my hopes and dreams to the Lord.

I surrendered my future.

And stepped out in faith.

Alone.

For the first time in my life.

With only Jesus by my side.

No prospects. 

No possibilities.

I was heading to the mission field to serve my Jesus 

in my singleness and I was super excited about it!

And nothing was going to stop me!

Ahem.

The Lord's ways are not our ways.

One of my girls that had been going to my girls Bible study

invited me to a Bible study she had been attending on Sundays.

I really did not want to go anywhere near the male species. 

But I decided I could not stay away from contact with the male species forever.

So I swallowed my fear and went.

March 28, 2010.

Exactly two weeks to the day my courtship had been broken off.

So I get there.

There were a ton of people there and I didn't know anyone!

So I just sat there and waited for study to start.

The leader had gone to pick up someone and so we were waiting for him to get back.

Finally he got there and he walked into the room.

Jason Hollands.

My heart sunk.

He was very handsome in the white button down shirt 

and tan pants.
Katy you do not even look at him.

He had a purity ring on that looked like a wedding band.
Oh wow that is really neat. Oh snap! Katy cut it out. 
Do not look at him.
And wow was he a spiritual leader.
I sat there amazed as he started the Bible study.
The one thing that made the most impact on
me was how he prayed.
Oh how he prayed.
And it wasn't a show.
It was just him coming before his Heavenly Father
and having a talk with Him.
And it was anytime.
Anything.
No matter how big
or how small.
And as we went around the circle.
At the very end.
He prayed for me.
Just me.
By name.
Katy stop it!
You are going to be single.
And happy.
And serve the Lord.
IN A SINGLE WAY!
I cried the whole way home.
And went upstairs and
determined to not ever go back
to Bible Study again.
Never.
In fact I was not going to ever going to go around guys again.
I was considering being a nun!
So Mom came upstairs and asked me what was wrong.
And finally I admitted that I was just
terrified about making the old mistakes with allowing
desperation to guide my heart and life
and I just knew somehow that if I kept going back I would
possibly develop a mindless crush on
Jason and I just did not want to even have to struggle with
guarding my heart again!
I was going to serve the Lord.
As a single woman.
Well, Mom ended up telling me that yes I had to
slay the old fleshly tendancies to let desperation to lead my heart
but hiding was not going to cut it.
So, she said to not initiate anything with him.
I really clicked with his younger sister Sarah
(we talked for hours the first Bible study)
and she said to just focus on my friendship with Sarah.
So I kept going to Bible Study.
On April 4, 2010 I wrote this in my journal about Bible Study:
"Please help me to jealously guard my heart Lord.
Please help me to never go to Bible study...just because there
are guys there Lord.
I truly do just want to be fed spiritually Lord. 
The reason I am praying about this is because there is a guy there that, 
if I went back to my old pattern of going from guy to guy searching for completion (out of desperation),
I would be tempted to start obsessing/dreaming/crushing about. 
Jason Hollands is the leader there and very godly BUT I do not know him.
I have decided, as a part of slaying this old, fleshly tendancy,
that I am not going to initiate anything with Jason.
I will be friendly but not go out of my way I guess.
He friend requested all of us kids today and so I accepted him.
Tonight I was on face book and all the sudden he started chatting with me. It was so nice. We just talked about You and encouraged each other in You. I really think we could be good friends but, as of right now, I don't see it as anything more because I DON'T KNOW HIM. "
Oh if I had only known.
So I did not initiate anything.
At all.
And as the weeks and months went on and
we started spending more and more
time together I was friendly but did not initiate anything.
Jason told me later that me not swooning all over
him is actually what intrigued him about me.
A few times he thought:
What is wrong with her?
We continued to get to know eachother.
And I started to have feelings for him.
And I started to pray.
That the Lord would take the feelings away.
But strangely it didn't work.
For months!
So when did it start to change?
Well.
You are going to just have to wait for
Part 2 :)