Joy.

So, I have not updated this blog in over a week.
This would be the part were Katy hangs her head in shame:
*Katy hangs her head in shame.*
 I do have a really good excuse though!
Life has been crazy busy!
Now that we have that out of the way...
The last post I wrote I shared about fear.
My fears.
Fear in general.
-Katy begins to get up close and somewhat personal-
As many of you know, I was in a courtship relationship.
Well, the Lord has a way of working and about two and a half
months ago we decided to end our courtship.
I have no regrets.
It was successful as far as we were in a relationship to determine
whether or not the Lord would have us be married.
Our answer was no.
And that is ok.
These past few months the Lord has taught me so much about Joy.
I have realized that even when you think that you have reached
rock bottom there is joy to be found in Jesus Christ.
I have learned that no one will ever complete me or fill that void
in my heart.
Only my precious Lord and Savior can do that.
It has been a journey.
I have discovered so much more about my God and have
fallen so much deeper in love with Him.
I never knew that such a deep, intimate and personal relationship was possible
with Jesus but now I know-IT IS!
I don't want you all to think that I have curled up in a shell and am horribly depressed.
Yes, breaking up with my boyfriend was the hardest thing that I ever had to
do BUT God has healed my broken heart and given me the courage
to dream again.
I have found joy.
So here are some things that I have been finding joy in lately:

• Finding satisfaction in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
• My girls Bible study that meets every Friday night.
• Spending time with my family.
• Working with some amazing children at my job.
• Getting accepted into an LPN nursing school that starts in January.
• Summer nights.
• Night walks that last for miles.
• Time with new friends.
• Eating yummy new foods like chobani yogurt.
• Working as a "manager" for Jason the Juggler (click for link to our website)
• Swinging in our shire.
• Time spent in the Word of God.
• Filling up my prayer journal (it is almost full!).
• Playing piano for my church.
• Campfires.
• Bible studies all throughout the week.
• Young people attending our church.

THE LIST GOES ON AND ON AND ON!

Have I mentioned we serve an AWESOME GOD?

Joy.

When joy is found in the Lord-it is a beautiful thing!

These are some recent pictures of my siblings and I when we went to a theme park with an amazing friend. I love my family:

Oh and just in case you thought that we are actually normal here is some photographic proof that we...are not...

*Contented sigh*
I love my family!

OK! So onto some super exciting news!

I got asked by Miss Jocelyn if I would be willing to host June's upcoming Feeling Feminine Challenge (click here for more information)!!!

I am so excited! I have done the challenge many times and blogged about it as well. If you want to check out my thoughts on the Feeling Feminine Challenge from the previous times I have done it click here.

So, starting tomorrow-I will be posting thoughts and and my first June '10 Feeling Feminine pictures along with a place for you to link up!  So how about it girls?
Are you up for the challenge? 

Fear.

An excerpt from my own personal journal-Wednesday, March 17,2010

*This time period of my life was when I was going through one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. One day I just decided to start going through the Bible and claiming promises that would apply to me. I was so blessed by this passage in Psalms and shared it with my girls in Bible study tonight and thought I would share it with you all:

"'The LORD is my light and my salvation—

whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold of my life—

of whom shall I be afraid?'

Psalm 27:1

Right now -the path ahead of me seems so dark, scary, and unknown. I am so scared when I think about the possiblity of being alone like I was at camp. So afraid of living a life were it is just me in charge ministering but with no one to minister to me. I fear myself. I fear people. I fear the thought of ever being able to trust a guy again. I fear, I fear, I fear...so much FEAR!

Yet, this very very clearly reminds me that the LORD is my strength! That I don't need to fear...in a way it is worded as though it would be crazy to fear because the Lord is the strength of my life. Can I not trust Him to be my strength?

'For in the time of trouble

He shall hide me in His pavilion;

In the secret place of His tabernacle

He shall hide me;

He shall set me high upon a rock. "'
Psalm 27:5

I am HIDDEN in Him. I am guarded by Him. I mean that much to Him! If that isn't reason to trust-I don't know what is...If only I could take that and transfer it from head knowledge to heart knowledge. Lord, that I would willingly hide myself in YOU trusting YOU to help me...heal...please help me Lord!

'Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!

Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

When You said, “Seek My face,”

My heart said to You, 'Your face, LORD, I will seek.''

Psalm 27: 7-8

Lord, please help me to seek Your face. Please help me to run to You for comfort BEFORE people. Lord, I DO want to seek You. Please hear my voice! Please teach me to seek You. Please take these horrible fears away and replace them with a complete confidence in You as I seek You on a deeper and more intimate leval.

'When my father and my mother forsake me,

Then the LORD will take care of me. '

Psalm 27:10

In the margin of my Bible, right next to that verse, some time ago I had written "Or when I am all alone". Lord, I have never felt more alone in my entire life. That is were the fears come in. Of being alone like this for the rest of my life. I am so SO afraid that I will never find someone who loves me enough. Then, I think of the fact that someone already does and that someone is You. You are there taking care of me. Please Lord! PLEASE help me to know that in a deeper sense than I have ever known it before. Please help me to trust You in a deeper way than I ever had/have before. Please help this fear of never having someone again be obliterated because I DO HAVE SOMEONE and that SOMEONE IS YOU LORD!

'Wait on the LORD;

Be of good courage,

And He shall strengthen your heart;

Wait, I say, on the LORD!'

Psalm 27:14

That is it.

THAT IS MY ANSWER!

Help me to wait on You Lord. Help me to be of good courage. Please, please strengthen my heart as I wait on You to heal my broken heart and to give me hope in You and confidence in You once again Lord.

Please help me to WAIT on You and Your timing. Lord, that You will would be done in and through this difficult time Lord.

Jesus, I do just want to serve You. Please strenthen my heart that is so shattered and broken right now. I love you so much Lord!"

One of those days.

Ok. So I say that it has been one of those days.

Well, lets try one of those weeks

that just happened to 

lead up to one of those days.

That day being, well, today.

(insert small sigh here)

I have been on a role the past week.

I had so many goals.

I had so many plans.

I had so many things I needed to get done.

Notice a recurring word here?

Well let me give you a hint-it has I in it. 

Oh wait! 

That is the word.

(insert another small sigh here)

Ok, so here is were I get real upfront and personal.

Honestly-it has been a rough day.

BUT I serve a God...that has a way of  

upholding His children with His righteous right hand!

The way my Savior encouraged me today was via other blogs.

It was amazing!

Every single blog I read seemed to have something that was

exactly what I needed to be reminded of.

One of the blogs that I was really blessed by was this one:

The latest devotional was by Elizabeth 

(click here to read her personal blog)

and I thought I would share a part that really leaped out at me:

 

"How frequently we lean on our own ideas and thoughts in place of God's ideas and thoughts! We must learn to acknowledge the Lord and allow him to take our life and make it his. Truly there is no greater joy than to yield our life to God and see his plan unfold before us. God wants to bless us and he longs to lead us, but we must first surrender to his beautiful purpose for our life. "

How true is that? 

That is what I realized I was doing today!

I was so focused inward on myself that I had 

forgotten to focus outward on my Savior!

So today.

It was a hard day.

I made some decisions in how I reacted to things that I regret.

BUT-tomorrow is a new day, 

a new beginning, 

a fresh start.

I am so thankful to my God for that!

 Amber (click here to go to her blog)

also really encouraged my heart in a very special

way today. I am so thankful for the people God uses in our lives on a

day to day basis!

 I found this quote that I had written in my Bible:

  

"Grace-when He who is stronger than me comes and takes the load off of me." 

 

There it is.

It sums it up perfectly.

 Grace-God's grace-is something that we do not deserve

YET-He pours it out upon us 

every single moment

of every single day.

What an awesome God we serve!

So yeah, today was one of those days

but-tomorrow doesn't have to be.

I am so thankful for that.

 

Oh and here is a little extra sneak into my life:

This is Jen and I along with some very dear friends at a piano recital 

of another really dear friend that

we had the priviledge to go to this past week.

It was so much fun to be able to see Christy 

(click here to go to her blog)  

play piano and then be able to spend time with her and her

family that evening. 

The thing that I love about this picture is that there are 

two sets of sisters.

However,the three of them with dark hair actually  look like sisters!

And i look like...the odd girl out!

 Not that I am bitter about that or anything!

The other picture would be one that I took yesterday:

This is me and my amazing friend Sarah.

I spent the afternoon at her house yesterday 

and we had decided to go for a walk 

in the mud woods. 

It was so much fun! 

Last night after church her and her brother

came over and we had a wonderful time 

attempting to  roasting hotdogs over a campfire

and going on a night walk.

It was a lot of fun and it was neat to make some new memories :)

Definitely a good start to our summer!

 

Speaking of summer-

I AM DONE WITH TWO YEARS OF COLLEGE!!!!!

Freedom is here!

Ok, well, that was random and a bit off topic

but now you are all caught up.

Blessings to you all!

 

 

 

A Letter to my Mom

 Dear Mom,

  I am sorry. This Mother's Day letter is a little bit late (by one day). 

But I had a sudden inspiration today as I was washing dishes 

(both of our favorite chores) tonight and just had to write some of my thoughts down.

These past two years have been some of the hardest,

but most fulfilling years of my life. One thing that I have appreciated 

more than you will ever know is how you have 

stuck with me through thick and thin. I have learned 

to appreciate you in so many more ways than I

ever have before. When I was going through the time were

we had no idea why I was so sick and not getting better you were 

always there for me. When I thought my heart would be

broken forever you encouraged me in the Lord and then

wept right alongside me. When you were exhausted you 

still stayed up and waited to welcome me home at night. 

You are never too busy to spend time with me.

Never to busy to let me come and cry on your shoulder

(sometimes figuratively and other times quite literally).

I love how you love to do things like lay out on the trampoline

and gaze at the stars.

I love how you love the small things in life.

I love how you will open our home to so many people.

I love how you ask people whether they want to be friends or family

and if they choose family you will put them right to work (All while letting them know that they have family privileges

like raiding the cupboard and NOT having to ask to go to the bathroom).

I love how you make our home warm and inviting  

to anyone who may need/want to stop by.

I love how I can go to you for advice on anything.

I love how you will always tell me the truth (even when it is hard for you to say it).

I love how you love the Lord and are

always encouraging me to grow in Him.

I love how you love.

You are an amazing woman and I am so thankful that God 

saw fit to allow me to be your daughter.

I appreciate you so much Mom!

I love you more than there are stars in the sky.

Someday,  I want to be a Mom just like you.

I love you Mom,

Love,

 -Katy

Think about this.

I took this off my sister Abby's (click here to read her blog) facebook profile. I think she summed it up nicely:

"Wow! Talk about convicting! People are dying and going to Hell without EVER hearing even Jesus' name! Unacceptable. We as Christians need to get off our rears and take the Gospel to places where it has never been before. Harsh? Maybe but I'm not apologizing. It's the truth!"

Amazed.

I don't think that I will ever forget that day.

The day that I couldn't breath for over three hours.

I was looking at pictures on facebook tonight and just...

was amazed.

Amazed at how the Lord has grown me these past two years.

Amazed at the lessons I have learned.

Amazed at how amazing it is to fall in love with Jesus.

Amazed that the Lord truly does have reasons for when hard things happen in our lives.

Amazed that although Jesus never promised life would be easy-

He promised He would be with us every step of the way.

Amazed.

I am also amazed at how many times I doubt my God.

He has done so much for me.

He has proven His faithfulness to me time and time again.

He holds the universe in the palm of His hand.

When I think of how mighty He truly is-

I am amazed at how often I choose to try to handle my problems on my own.

I am amazed at how often I try to merely fit Him into my life instead of building my life around Him.

I am amazed at how often I put God in a box-

thinking that my problems are either too big, or too small, for Him

(THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE)

 to handle.

When I look at how sinful, rebellious, and wretched I am-

I am amazed that my Savior still chose to die in my place on that cross.

I am amazed that He loves me-in spite of me.

I am amazed.

So question:

What has amazed you lately?

Craziness.

It is that time of year again.
The time that all college students dread but also eagerly anticipate.
It is the END of the school year!
Which means a few things:

1. Finals. Need I say more.
2. Late nights that tend to stem from procrastinating working on assignments that are due.
3. Sad neglect of many things that do not have to do with school.

The excited feeling one gets when they realize that school ends in less then 2 weeks! 

So that is my life the next few weeks.
Which means that I will not be able to post as much as I would like to.
But I will leave you with a picture just so you will remember what I look like:

 This is my amazing friend Allie.

I was able to spend the weekend with her while her parents were on a trip.

We got to see a calf born which was so cool!

 OK, that is all for now!

I am...off to work on some more school.