Hey all!
So I am sitting at school
waiting for my 1st class of the
day to start.
I was thinking about updating
and was just browsing through some post
over at
and came across an article entitled
Instantly the title grabbed my attention
so I clicked on it and read it.
And I ask you to do the same thing.
Did you read it?
Awesome!
So you may be asking what is the point?
Well, I haven't really shared a lot of details about
my relationship with Jason because honestly
I have been afraid to.
Why?
Well, because our courtship is not at all like all the books
I grew up reading.
And I was afraid that people would think I was less holy because of it.
Have you gotten the gist that I am a real people pleaser yet?
Writing a post like this absolutely terrifies me because
I know that some of my readers will not agree with me and I hate
even the possibility of conflict.
So why, if I hate conflict so much, am I writing this post?
Because I really felt I needed to.
I feel as though I need to share.
I feel I need to give you all a little glimpse into my relationship with Jason.
So I am going to share the comment I wrote on
"I really appreciate this post. I definitely agree that courtship books in and of themselves are not wrong but when I was younger I was obsessed with them to the point of creating very legalistic rules for myself (all while I was not dating or even close) that I thought would make me more pure and essentially more holy. I was in one courtship relationship and we did it all by the books literally. And yet-all the rules did nothing to prevent my heart from being shattered when some things in his life came to light and my Dad (who is my hero for doing it) ended our courtship.
I really struggled after that because we had done everything “right” and yet it had still failed and I still got hurt.
Well, the Lord is gracious and he literally plopped me in front of the man that on May 21, 2011 will become my husband. We didn’t do things by the books and yet…the Lord blessed. He kissed me the day we got engaged and honestly I waited to feel guilty (because of the years of my mindset that I would be less pure if I even dared to think about kissing my husband before my wedding day) and yet-I didn’t. I realized that saving your first kiss for your husband does not necessarily mean that it will make you any less pure if it is not on your wedding day but before (even though I have the highest respect for those who do wait till their wedding day!).
Our love story has been nothing like the books but oh our Father in Heaven has written us a beautiful love story! One that is a million times better then I ever could have imagined! For so long I tried to hold on to MY rules and the way I thought courtship should be…and in the end I realized my Jesus just wanted me to surrender my love story to Him so He could be in complete control and when I did-I realized that His ways truly ARE so much better than ours! "
The Lord used this article:
after I had ended my courtship with my ex-boyfriend
to really challenge me on WHY I had set the rules I had for my life.
As I prayed and went over and over things I realized
that for ME PERSONALLY
a lot of the reasons I was going to do or not do something came out
of my own attempts to make myself more holy.
The Lord really used the lady who wrote the article-Gretchen- to bring me back to the realization that it is not about the rules and regulations
we can set for ourselves or think we need to set for ourselves
but it is about going back to the Word of God and forming convictions
based on that and what we know He has for us.
SO there it is.
I feel like I just rambled but honestly it was relieving.
I have lived my life for years trying to have complete control of my love story
and have only just recently began to found
the amazing freedom that can be found
in surrendering completely to Jesus Christ and letting HIM write our love story.
Because in the end it really is all about Jesus Christ.
And bringing honor and glory to Him.
He is worthy!
Note:
A reader commented on this and brought up the point that we should have standards of excellence
and I totally agree and am very glad he pointed it out.
I am not condoning throwing out every single rule or standard
and I just wanted to make sure that was clear.
That was not my point.
What I am saying is that in my own personal life
I became so obsessed with man made rules and regulations
that I started relying on them to determine
how holy I was or how unholy I was.
I was so full of pride,
arrogance, hypocrisy and self-righteousness
that there was no room left for Jesus!
It comes down to our personal relationships with Jesus Christ.
Going before Him and seeking His face.
When we are living for Jesus we will WANT to give everything to Him
and we will WANT to bring honor and glory to Him
ESPECIALLY in our relationships here on earth
because they are meant to be a picture of Christ and the church.
We can never serve the Lord too much! :)
Ps:
Just found these pictures of Jason and I that my
good friend Olivia took
the day we left for Florida and
I thought it was so us I just had to share them
with you-
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| We constantly laugh with each other. We just bring it out in each other I guess! |
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| See that look on his face? That is a look he gets often. Lol :) It is a "whoops shouldn't have said that look" |
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Did we know people were taking our pics? No. But we did for this one! We were FREEZING but happy to just be with each other. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with this man!!!
