God is faithful.

I will proclaim it to the world

I will declare it to my heart

I'll sing it when the sun is shining

I will scream it in the dark...

YOU ARE FAITHFUL, YOU ARE FAITHFUL

When You give, and when You take away,

Even then, still Your name is faithful...

This song is one by Steven Curtis Chapman

that one of my dear friends

sent to me this morning.

Honestly, I have

really been struggling

with depression lately.

And I needed this reminder.

Even when things don't make

sense-

GOD IS STILL FAITHFUL!

My old bus driver

used to count blessings

with me

so I am going to count

blessings.

One of the biggest

things is that

my siblings

and some of our

best friends

came and surprised

me for my birthday!

They are staying for 10 days!

What a blessing that is!!! :)

Today I am 21.

What a difference this year has made!

This morning before we

got up I was

telling Jason all that

had happened

this past year and

I stopped and just was

amazed at

how blessed

I am!

What a year!

Falling in love,

 nursing school,

 engagement,

 marriage,

florida,

and our heaven baby.

 The Lord is so faithful!

And you know what-

I feel a little better

just writing this :)

Blessings!



The Desire of My Heart...

Thank you all
for your amazing support
over the past few days.
How amazing it is
to me how I have
yet another family
here on the internet!
It truly is amazing
how the Lord works!
Today I thought that
I would share a
wedding video that
my sister Abby at
(click below to visit her blog)
Mexico Bound
made for Jason and I.
After we watched the
video for the first time
Jason turned to me
and commented how amazing
our love story is.
I would have to agree.
I am still amazed
at how the Lord orchestrated
our love story
and continues to even
to this day!



All my life all I
ever wanted to be
was a wife
and a Mama.
And in not even 2 short
months the Lord
has truly given me
both of the desires
of my heart.
I can only
praise His name for
that.
How thankful I am
for my husband,
my lover,
my hero,
my prince,
my best friend.
I would never want to spend
my life with any other.
God is so good!
If you want to read
the first part of
our story
then feel free to
click below
Lord willing I will
be working on our
story till it is finished
as time allows :)


(Click here to read our story)

When God takes away.

It has been a little bit since 

I last posted.

I guess I just

have been trying to think 

of the words to

say.

Our sweet little baby

is now in heaven with my

precious Savior.

I was so angry

at first 

(it started the day we

went to a christian clinic

and had gotten a 4th 

positive pregnancy

test)

but then with some

help of a friend

who had gone through

a simuler thing,

I surrendered it to Jesus.

What else could I do?

I surrendered my baby.

I surrendered that dream.

I surrendered.

And what peace He

has given.

What joy has come.

Do I miss my little one?

Yes.

How is it possible to know

someone is coming for

such a short time

and then when they are not 

there to miss them

so incredibly much?

There are still tears.

But though 

weeping may endure for

a night

joy truly does come in the 

morning.

Now, I can truthfully say

the Lord gives 

and the Lord takes away

but BLESSED be

the name of the Lord!

I know He is in control 

and I know that

,someday,

Jason and I will

be reunited with our little 

one in heaven.

Jesus is just taking care 

of him till 

we get there.

Why do I refer to the baby

as a boy?

Well, I don't know how,

but from the time we knew

I was pregnant

we both felt so so strongly

that it was a little boy.

So, at the suggestion

of my parents who

had also lost 

a little one,

we decided to name him.

Jeshua Justice Hollands

(JJ for short).

Jeshua means 

God is my salvation.

He is in heaven.

No tears.

No pain. 

No heart break.

God is so good!