I am amazed.

The last few days I have not been all to nice to be around.

I have been emotional

and hormonal

and worried about every little thing.

And yet this man

still loves me.

Yes, he has seen me at my best 

and still loved me.

But-he has also seen me

at my worst

and 

he loves me anyway.

What a picture of Jesus Christ's 

love for us!

He knows us.

Every single detail about us.

And loves us anyway.

He died for us anyway.

Whew!

Think about that for a few minutes! 

It will blow your mind!

So now for a few pictures.

 

Did you know that 

I am in love?

My prince turned 21 yesterday!

We are getting married in 59 days.

Oh and we are moving.

Far away.

Any guesses where and why?

The other day we went over 

to my Grandparents

and my Grandpa took some pictures

of us.

See for centerpieces at the 

reception we are going to have us

holding a sign 

or having a sign propped

up somewhere

and then we are going to write in the 

table number.

So we practiced with 

a sign 

and all that fun stuff.

Course. 

Sometimes I dropped it.

But you know what.

It is those moments that we laughed.

I love that.

We laugh.

Together.

Sometimes at eachother.

Sometimes just at me.

But we laugh.

I can hardly wait

to spend the rest of my 

life laughing

with this man.

Loving this man.

Being this man's WIFE!

Wow! 

God is so amazing! 

So what are you amazed at today?

Trusting in what?

Ever had one of those moments 

where you read a verse and know 

it was meant just for you?

I had one of those moments the other day:

" Stop trusting in mere humans,
   who have but a breath in their nostrils.
   Why hold them in esteem? "

         -Is. 2:22

So often I look to people

instead of God

to fix things.

So often I look to people

instead of God 

for comfort.

Jason keeps telling me

to not trust in him

but to trust

God with him.

And so this is what I have

been pondering.

Putting my trust in God.

Instead of people.

I am thankful we serve a 

merciful God!

He is good :)

What or who

are you trusting in

today?

Our Story-Part 2: Our Friendship-May 2010

So I know that I have kind of left you all hanging from
PART 1 (click to re-read)

for a few weeks.

Sorry about that-things have been insane.

But I have decided to just start typing

and bit by bit hopefully I will get this next part of 

our story written up :)

So where were we?

Well, I had just met Jason and was determined to be single.

Ahem.

So, I thought that I would not be seeing a lot of him.

I mean after all I just saw him once at this 

Bible study.

Right?

Ahem.

Wrong.

All the sudden I found myself bumping into Jason EVERYWHERE!

It started when I went to a girls Bible study with my 

sister Jen that was ironically being held at his house (hosted by his sister Sarah).

That night the Lord really spoke to me once again about worry

and all the sudden Jason pulled into the driveway.

Now, I imagined he would just go into the house 

and not give any of us girls on the porch a second glance.

Well, I was wrong.

Oddly enough he came out and hung out with us the entire night.

We talked and laughed together then the real fun began
when we got out glow sticks.
Did you know that if you break open glow sticks
and spray the insides around they look like stars?
They are amazing and so much fun
(plus they do not stain clothing and according to the label
are "non-toxic").
So accidentally I managed to get a glob in Jason's eye.
Well.
He complained about it and I just kind of laughed at him
and then he got some in my eye.
YOW!
I went into the house and washed my eye out.
Sarah went in with me
and I distinctly remember looking in the
mirror and going
"Whoa! Good thing there aren't any cute guys here to impress!"
Ahem.
Apparently I freaked Sarah out
who unbeknownst to me had been
praying that Jason and I would end up together
since the day we had met!
Either way we left that night
and I was still thinking:
Super nice guy.
No way in a million years he would notice me.
End of story.
*cough*
Or so I thought.
God had different plans!
So I continued to live my life.
May, 2010
His sister Sarah and I started to develop a relationship
and little by little he began to show up more and more.
Like the time he texted me on her phone.
I thought it was her.
Nope.
It was him.
Then the time she texted me off HIS phone.
I didn't know that so I texted back
and we started to gradually text
more and more.
May 2, 2010 I wrote this in my prayer journal:
"Jason actually was texting me today and...oh Lord! I just need You
to help me keep my eyes on YOU! I could really...really fall for this guy but I DO NOT want
to, first of all, dishonor You by not being COMPLETELY focused
on You and second, as much as I would LOVE to have him notice me...
I know that that would not make everything perfect.
Only YOU can do that Lord. Plus-I am so afraid
that I could get hurt again like I did with _________
and ...I just don't know if I could do that Lord."
Course the next night we texted till 12:30am.
I still was absolutely terrified though
so I just kind of wrote it off.
May 6,2010:
I go with some people from Jason's Bible study to a Planned Parenthood to pass out
tracts and pray in front of.
Sarah and I end up walking the streets and passing out tracts and praying.
Then someone joined us.
"Most of the evening Sarah, Jason and I were together walking. At first it had been just Sarah and I
but then Jason came along as a protector of sorts.
Lord, it was so much fun! I have not had that much fun in a very very long time. The best part about it was that I was JUST ME! We walked, talked, handed out tracts and laughed. Then after we were done  we went to a burger king and ate really fast before we went back to the ________'s house. That was another thing too Lord-I ATE IN FRONT OF JASON
(this was a huge milestone because before with my ex-bf I would be so nervous when he came to visit I would not eat. Literally I would lose 3-5 pounds every single time he came to visit.)! Tonight...was just freeing. Lord, I really...I am not looking for a relationship right now. Please just help me to guard my heart Father. I surrender my friendship with Jason to You Lord."
See a pattern developing yet?
I really was in denial!
So I continued to deny what I thought the Lord might
possibly be doing and continued battling loneliness, surrendering my future (and Jason)
to the Lord and praying for my future husband
"Lord-whoever he is".
He continued to text me randomly over the next few weeks.
And then it happened.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
We were texting and all the sudden
out of the blue
he asked me if I wanted a job.
"Jason and I are going into business together.
See, he is a juggler and he wants to get more jobs but he
needs someone to do the marketing for him so that is 
were I come in.
He is going to pay me $10 an hour. I am excited
because I think that we could really get a lot of jobs working
together (yeah right that is not the only reason I was
excited-just didn't want to admit it lol). 
Please Lord...I do not want to lose my heart to this guy....
Lord, I just want to focus on You...single or not,
I am Yours. I say these things because I know I could start to have feelings for Jason especially because we are working in such close 
proximity to each other. So, once again, I surrender not only my singleness to You but I also lay down my dreams, desires, fears and feeling for Jason as anything more than a brother
at Your feet. Please take it all Lord and may You be honored and glorified in 
whatever happens."
I am amazed at how much I was falling in love with Jesus
during this time.
I was so afraid of making the same old mistake of allowing
desperation to lead my heart once again that I kept praying that the Lord
would take the feelings for Jason away.
  The uncertainty was good for me because countless times
a day when uncertainty and loneliness would
consume me it drove me straight to my Savior.
And what comfort I found in Him!
The day that Jason asked me to be his manager
he asked me to go yard saling with his family
the next Saturday "to talk about the business".
Uh huh.
We didn't get much talking done
at least about the juggling jobs but oh
we had so much fun just getting to know each other! :)
I was definitely in denial!
I knew I liked him but
I was not going to get hurt again!
Therefore I was not going to feel again!
Nope.
Nuh uh.
Not me!
Sigh.
It wasn't working that well.
May 25, 2010:
Jason and some other young people come over after church.
We go on our first of many night walks over the summer.
Jason and I somehow end up behind everyone talking.
For hours.
That night I write in my journal:
"Lord, I just surrender this to You again.
I really am starting to get interested in Jason. I don't 
really know him all that well yet but everytime I spend time with him I see something in him that I like a little bit more.
He definitely seems interested in me as well. 
Lord, I just pray that we would keep our eyes focused on You...Lord, You know what the desire of my heart is! Please whatever happens-whether I am single for the rest of my life or not-please help me to surrender and to bring honor and glory to You. I just want to serve You Jesus and I know I can do that and be perfectly content without a guy in my life."
So I kept surrendering.
And surrendering.
Through the making a website for Jason the Juggler.
Through making phone calls for Jason the Juggler.
Through writing emails for Jason the Juggler.
Through designing a website for Jason the Juggler.
Through looking at pictures of Jason the Juggler.

 Did I mention he is extremely strong?
Sigh.
May 31, 2010:
It had been a full weekend.
A graduation party where we learned old fashion dancing
(like the Virginia Reel and Pride and Prejudice type dances)
Jason had almost asked me to dance but I was dancing with someone
else.
Sunday Jason had come to our church and juggled for the kids there.
Afterwards he stayed at our house and we all went to chinese as a family then he helped
put up fence where we kept our horses.
After church he was practicing his juggling and teaching Jen a little
bit and I was just sitting there watching (and worrying a bit I'll admit it lol)

and then he started teaching me how to make balloons which was super fun!
Then a group of us decided to go to the park on a night walk.

It ended up being Jen and Jason and I.
How?
Not sure.
But it was a perfect night!
I ended out the month of May 2010 with this journal entry:
"I know that I am really starting to like this guy Lord...It has been two months and three days since we met Lord. Last night Jen asked him what his thoughts were on dating and he said that he doesn't date. I really think that we both really like each other BUT we are just getting to know each other.
These feelings are so different from anything I have ever felt before. Never have I ever even been interesting in a guy without having an obsession with him. Until the past few months desperation ruled my heart and controlled how I went after guys. It was so wrong Lord!
Now it it the opposite. From day one I have been surrendering my feelings for Jason to You. I really do not know that You have in store for Jason and I but I do know that no matter what happens YOU are the only one that will complete and satisfy me Lord.
No guy will ever do that.
So once again, Lord You know my heart and all my desires...please help me to continue to seek you first and to continue to just be friends with Jason. I surrender my feelings for him to You Lord, trusting that Your will WILL be done."
I was now facing another month.
I had no idea what was to come.
I didn't have any idea what the Lord was going to do.
But oh, He was about to do more that I could
have ever imagined.
But-you will just have to wait for that in
Part 3 :)
(hehehe)

Snapshots from the most amazing year of my life (to date) :)

Family Time at Darian Lake!! :)

Oh yeah-we are normal...mhmm ;)



My frog that I didn't win but the guy at the booth gave me anyway! LOL :)




Celebrity shot! Jen looks like an amazing security guard! :)



Early on :) Teaching me how to make balloons :)

Does he like me? Does he not?

Contented sigh :) I got a prince :)

An amazing night! Heading out to the park for a night walk!

My beautiful sister :)

Jen got to do a gig at a local bookstore and we all sang together for a few songs.

I love singing with my sisters!!

A tea party Abby set up for Jason and I :) So romantic :)

One of our favorite places :) That good ol' swing :) So many memories especially of reading the Word together! :)

Oh yes. We are strange. But strange sisters and that is all that matters :)

Amazing group of friends! Wow what an amazing summer it was! :)

Falling in love :) Mini golf and icecream. Still at the does he or does he not like me stage even though when this picture was being taken he was telling me what he believed a relationship should look like. Lol :)

I love her so much! She has invested so much into my life!!!

The dance :) "Katy you look short go over by Jason. That's better." And they cut out everyone else in the picture :) Oh I was so happy that night :)

The Case kids :)

Traveling to different churches to speak for the American gospel tour :)

The big whole group picking Abby up from Mexico! Wow we are so blessed!!! :)

Add a description

Sharing what the Lord has done in my life over the past few years :)

The American Gospel Tour Team (our true personalities shine through LOL)

I love these girls!

My Amazing Family!

Oh how I love that man!

LOVE THESE GIRLS!!!!

Blessed.
I am so blessed!
And thought I would share some of those blessings with you :)
So excited to see what the Lord has
in store
because a future with
Jesus by your side...
it is an adventure for sure :)

Why I Disappeared.

Dear Blog Readers,
I am sorry I have been somewhat non-existent these last few weeks.
Honestly, I have been going through one of the hardest times I ever have in my life and just needed time.
Thankfully though weeping may endure for a night (or in my case almost three weeks)
JOY does come in the morning.
Last night I sobbed.
Gut-wrenching sobs.
The kind that you can't catch your breath after.
And then as I sobbed (and tried to stay on the road and not die in a car accident lol)
I prayed.
And the Lord was there.
And He has been here!
Through it all.
I have never known my Savior to be so real to me.
Truly He is a merciful, amazing God and I know I would not have been able to get through these
past three weeks had it not been for Him.
HE IS SO GOOD!
And the promises and hope He gave me through His Word.
The Bible is powerful!
It is real!
It is true!
God is good.
The beginning of the end of this season.
I know that the Lord has a reason for all that has happened.
But I must say I am so thankful the end is in sight!
God has done so much!
And I am so excited to see what He will continue to do!
So thank you for your sweet comments on my last post
and for your prayers.
I am blessed.
So very blessed!
And Lord willing I will be blogging once again more regularly!
Here are some things I am thinking about wanting to tackle:

• I have a draft for part 2 of our engagement story sitting ready to be finished! Now the trick is just finding the time between work and school and then life
• I am going to be moving into a double-wide trailer after we get married and I need decorating ideas! Any of you ladies have ideas or tips I would LOVE to start working on that kind of thing!
• I am going to be married in 87 days! I can't believe it! A dream come true! But I would love wisdom from those of you that are married. 
• What would you my dear readers love to see more of on this blog? 

I would love some input! I truly believe a new chapter in my life has begun and I would like that to spill over onto this blog as well!
I am off to clean the house! Until the next post here is a picture I thought I would leave you all :)


You will hear more about this in Part 2 of our story but this was back this summer when Jason and I liked each other but were still not admitting it! Lol :) This night...what a magical night! And you will be able to read all about it soon Lord willing :)
Love,
Katy