And I know He watches me...

We sang this song

in church today and I 

was absolutely amazed at 

the timing the 

Lord has.

So I decided to share 

it with you all.

His Eye Is On The Sparrow.

Civilla D. Martin

Why should I feel discouraged,

Why should the shadows come,

Why should my heart feel lonely

And long for Heav'n and home,

When Jesus is my portion?

A constant Friend is He:

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches over me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,

I sing because I'm free,

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me

His eye is on the sparrow

And I know he watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled,"

His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness,

I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth

But one step I may see:

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted,

Whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing,

When hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him,

From care He sets me free:

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He cares for me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

And I know He cares for me.

(Source)

Honestly, these last few 

months have been 

a huge struggle for me

in every way.

Do you ever feel like

your life is just

filled with darkness?

Like no matter where you go

or what/who you turn

to there is never relief?

And here is where

it gets personal.

For the last three months

it seems as though I have been

descending deeper and deeper

into an abyss of my

own making.

Why?

Well, because God was no longer

a priority in my life.

But I was doing ministy!

Well, sometimes it is possible

to get so caught up

in ministry and

the busyness of it that

we forget WHO

we are ministering FOR

in the first place.

Being back in NY has

really opened my

eyes to how deep

I have allowed certain

destructive thought patterns and

attitudes to take root

in my heart and

had started to take over my life.

Anger.

Bitterness.

Unforgiveness.

Jealousy.

Discontentment.

To name a few.

For days I have struggled.

How do I forgive?

How do I stop being so awful?

How do I begin to

LIVE again?

I.

I.

I.

I can not do it.

I can not change myself.

I can not start to live again.

I can not be good enough.

I just can't!

So Who can?

May I insert a duh here?

Who is my Heavenly Father?

Who is my refuge and strength?

Who is the Creator of the Universe?

Who was I kidding that

I could take

care of everything

on my own?

He watches over

sparrows!

How much more is 

He going to look

after His children?

The ones He sent His Son

to die on the cross for?

What love!

What mercy! 

What grace!

I have been running from

the very One

,the ONLY One,

Who can help me! 

But no more.

I want Jesus.

I want to know Him

in a way I never have!

What a comfort

to know that 

that my Savior is

watching me.

What joy there is 

in that truth!

Have you been running from

Him instead of 

towards Him?

Lets stop doing that and

turn to Him in total

and complete surrender!

What joy there is

in doing so

and truly

there is freedom in Him.

(Source)